Features

Volume XXXVII, Issue 1, February 21, 2014

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From The Indicator’s Archive of Random Thoughts

Think of a random thing! Go! Right now! ... Did you do it? Did you think of “Camelot: The Camels of the Round Table” a parody of King Arthur starring camels? You probably didn’t - unless you’re a comedic genius, but that’s what this trivial and belittling thought experiment is about: the pleasures and surprises of random thoughts. For this features section, we at The Indicator have abandoned our usual, clear structure for, you know, artistic reasons - not because we were pressed for time or anything, gosh! So strap in and brace yourself for a bunch of random opinions, musings, and general nonsense: 

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Snow Days Then and Now: 

THEN: School closed, sledding, snowball fights, eating those delicious yellow snow cones that the older kids made for you - those were the days. 

NOW: School closed. Except classes are still on, and you know, obviously all your assignments are still due. Ok, everything is the same, just Val is a little backed up. Also, now you realize that you ate pee as a kid. 

Timeless Wisdom, Revisited:

“Do not bite the hand that feeds you, unless it is made of chocolate.”

“If you are a pot, do not call the kettle black. That’s racist.
If you are a pot, do not call the kettle white. That’s inaccurate.
If you are a pot that can speak, keep it to yourself. People will seriously freak out.” 

“Be yourself. Unless you suck, in which case, be someone else.” 

“Don’t cry over spilt milk. Lap it up you miserable fuck.” 

“The early bird gets the worm. The late bird gets the continental breakfast.” 

“Do not make a mountain out of a molehill. Think of the moles.”

 


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