Zeus—the crime boss, not the actual god—was arrested. His terrifying reign over non-demigods, of taking, taking, taking from everything and everyone under his thumb, was no more. He’d given his location to Malin to set up some meeting with potential new recruits, and Malin had slipped the information to Rani, and Rani had slipped it to the Bureau of Heroes, and their raid had gone off without a hitch. Rani had taken point, studying blueprints and assembling strike teams. Even now, as cadets round up the surrendered gang members, she’s in charge. Mostly. She’s really just a mouthpiece, relaying updates and orders from her superiors, but no one knows that but her.
“Rani!”
Her and Malin, that is, who’s learned far more about the inner workings of the Bureau than Rani intended. Rani didn’t intend for a lot to happen with Malin.
She turns towards Malin’s voice-she has for a long time; she will, for the rest of the little time they have left.
Malin is getting arrested, and Rani always, always knew this was going to happen. She knew, but watching Malin get forced to her knees, her hands wrenched behind her back, doesn’t make it any easier.
“Tell them,” Malin calls. She’s staring at Rani even as she pulls against the cadets restraining her, never yielding, but her voice cracks when she says, “Rani. Tell them. Tell them I made a deal with you.”
“Let go of her,” Rani says, her heart leaping to the back of her throat when they do. Malin pulls her feet under her, her hands still restrained, only for Rani to step behind her and grab the collar of her shirt. “‘You are now a ward of the Bureau, until such time-’”
“Rani-”
“‘That you are no longer deemed a threat to the citizens of this city,’” Rani says. “‘If you-’”
“Rani, what the fuck-”
“‘If you need guidance through this process, then someone will be provided to advise you with- with…a steady hand and a warm smile,’” Rani recites, ignoring her trembling voice. She’s recited the Bureau’s words so many times. She’s never struggled with them. She could recite them in her sleep. But Malin strains against her grasp, and it makes the words rot and die in the back of her throat.
“You-you said-”
“I know what I said,” Rani murmurs. She said Malin would be safe. She said she’d be immune. But Rani is Apollo’s daughter, the wrong daughter, the daughter of plague and sickness and death. Rani can’t promise anyone immunity. She never could, and she never will, and she hates that Malin is only realizing that now.
“You lied,” Malin summarizes, her voice clipped, even if her eyes are glassy when she twists out of Rani’s grasp. She turns. She doesn’t run. She plants her feet and looks Rani in the eyes. “You knew you’d leave me to them? You knew, and you-you promised-you told me-”
“I promised you something I can’t give you,” Rani says because she did. Rani can’t convince the Bureau to let Malin go, despite her betraying Zeus and acting as Rani’s informant. She simply doesn’t have the power she told Malin she has. It was Rani’s plan to betray her from the beginning, because before, she was doing it to someone she didn’t know. Someone with Malin’s face, and her voice, and her thoughts and dreams and feelings, and that person was a stranger Rani was willing to condemn.
And now she isn’t, just when the decision escapes Rani’s hands.
Malin laughs. It’s a horrible, grating sound, like nails on a chalkboard. Rani winces. This moment will gouge her mind; the marks will be the only thing she has to remember Malin by.
“We were never going to last, were we?” Malin asked. “Even if you hadn’t betrayed me.”
Rani flinches. Malin doesn’t relent. “You knew that, and you made sure you’d win. I can’t even be mad, can I? In a way, you finally fucking learned to prioritize yourself, and isn’t that what I told you to do?”
“Malin-”
“Because you are the Bureau, aren’t you?” she continues, merciless as she steps closer. “The Rani I knew, she’s not real, is she? All that really exists, all that you are, is the Bureau’s best attack dog, right?”
“I-no, no, Malin-”
“Your wants are their wants, and your needs are their needs, and you are them, and they are you.” Malin smiles, all teeth, all shiny pink lipstick that Rani knows the taste of. “And they want me dead, so you made it happen. Congratulations, Rani. I’m dead to you.”
Rani wants to reach out and touch. Hold. Cling. But Malin is right.
“You told me once that nothing lasts forever,” Malin says. “And now-now I know you were thinking of this moment. You knew it was coming. And you were right. Nothing lasts forever, Rani, except your fear and loyalty to an organization that treats you like less than a dull blade,” she spits. “That’s what will last for the rest of your miserable life. At least I’ll die as my own person.”
“You were always better at being one of those,” Rani murmurs. “Not me.”
“Maybe,” Malin says. “But you were learning.”
She turns and presents her cuffed hands. “Go on, then,” she says, shoulders back, head held high. “Arrest me.”
Rani’s radio chirps. “All units are accounted for,” it says, crackling between them. “Start heading back to base.”
So Rani pushes Malin forward, and loads her into an armored car amongst the jeering of her old colleagues and the Bureau’s cadets alike, and only after that car is well down the road does she stop. She tips her head back. The sun shines on her face. The world keeps turning.
But something precious died, and as always, Rani only has herself to blame.
(If you’d like to read more, read “there are many ways to starve” in Snack Time, which features these characters and more of their story!)
Writer | Varsha Palaniyandy ’28 | vpalaniyandy28@amherst.edu
Editor | Toby Rosewater ’28 | trosewater28@amherst.edu