i once thought my body was
empty of me, other than the light
buzz of energy, unease

until I learned the weight
of remembering could swallow
me if I didn’t swallow it

open my heart as
the next ripple of time
propagated to join it in
the next degree of something

shed a little of the inability
To let go, feel the wind scrape
My throat like bottles
when you blow across the top
and the sharp sensation escapes

my aunt says its useless
experiencing a crisis before it happens
but putting myself through it twice
let me articulate it quicker, more clearly
after the second time, i don’t say

guilty assigning someone else
the task of creating clarity of deep fear

just to let the sparks it cast
settle from their momentum
made small by the stretch of eternity

like i’m putting things off
but gaining the euphoria of

held by roots drawn in me
by noises, words, and loves
remembered to navigate
hollow spaces
and live among them

Writer | Zoe Alarcon ’25 |
Editor | Jihyun Paik ’24 |
Artist | Erxi Lu ’24 |