there are times when i forget to put the accent over the é in my name. & worn outfits i’m not even sure why i own. times when I devoured peaches because people say it’s a lot like kissing. swallowed stupid confessions and unhelpful commentary and fleeting lifesaver candies (which glow in the dark when bitten, did you know that?)
i’ve been to the movies six billion times and kept every ticket. i’ve raged and written. lined up all my bodies and carefully selected who i wanted to be that night.
i have almost 4 times the piercings, have had exactly 6 cigarettes, and have learned that 3 is not 2, especially when it comes to edibles. i’ve gifted my hair the sun and have been rewarded with coils in the shape of red, pink, green, purple, and blue. i’ve tried every hairstyle and settled on one that my mom thinks makes me look childish (what does she know?)
i’m a star and a child and am constantly confused about the moon’s phases: waxing? waning? waxing? waning? still waxing?
recently, i learned when you wave and i don’t wave back my occipital lobe lights up. and when i walk by like i don’t know you, my orbitofrontal cortex activates. and as i write this, my temporal lobe is firing for you (how romantic)
there are moments i’m forgetting in this moment. for one, i’ve cracked my computer screen twice and still haven’t learned my lesson. i’ve folded my clothes immediately and let them sit for weeks and have learned that it truly doesn’t fucking matter. and there have been times that i smiled at you (what a stupid idea) and you smiled back (no idea is stupid)
i’ve amassed a number of obsessions, most notably my collection of stars. there have been days that i’ve ruined and days that i like to carry in my backpack (which has stars on it). i’ve been super rude and silent and insanely happy. i’ve INSERT SOMETHING HERE and regretted it. I’ve quit my job and regretted it. i’ve INSERT SOMETHING HERE and regretted it. And there have been times when it’s fine. it’s completely fine
Writer | Chela Cunningham ’25 | ccunningham25@amherst.edu
Editor | Mel Arthur ’25 | marthur25@amherst.edu